THE SWINE

SVINEN – THE SWINE

By John Ajvide Lindqvist

AFTER A GIG at yet another mall opening, the dance orchestra Tropico’s tour bus is hijacked by two pig farmers, a brother and a sister, who claim to be the band’s “biggest fans”. At gunpoint, and with the aid of an electric pig prodder, the bus is driven to the siblings’ dilapidated pig farm, and there the nightmare begins.

ALL MEMBERS OF the band except for the lead singer, the washed-up charmer Roland, are chained in the pen together with twenty big, hungry pigs. For Roland, the siblings have other plans. They want a child, and who could be a more suitable father than their great idol? Both siblings are grotesque, and it takes both force-feeding with Kamagra gel and desperate fantasies about wholesome childhood TV icons for Roland to, as they put it, “get a twitch in his tinkle.”

THIS IS JOHN Ajvide Lindqvist’s contribution to “Hillbilly Horror”, in the vein of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. The Swine is packed with graphic violence, filth, grease, Swedish “dance band” music (yes, that’s a thing). Sensitive readers, be warned – for real. But it’s also very, very funny, if you have… let’s say, a particular sense of humour.